No, this isn't some perverted blog post about perverted stuff, you perverts (points to self occasionally). What this post is about is how self love can be dangerous, but how loving others can be as well.
There's a trend going around about self love that has been for some time. You know the one I'm talking about; it produced the t-shirts with the word "flawless" printed on them. Although I think it started out well, it has progressed into some murky territory.
The beginning of the trend was all about finding power in thinking yourself to be beautiful and strong, even if the opinion of others was less than pleasant (putting it mildly). That's all well and good, y' know, appreciating and lifting up your good qualities instead of tearing yourself down.
However, I think that can quickly turn into treating yourself like a god. A person can get so caught up in flipping off the world, saying your opinion doesn't matter, getting all self-righteous and bitter, and not caring about what other people say at all no matter what.
And the problem is that if you make yourself the center of your world, you will never be fulfilled. You can never fulfill yourself, no matter how highly you think of yourself or how many nice things you get.
The same type of thinking can be applied to loving and serving others. Finding joy and thoroughly enjoying helping others over yourself is not inherently bad. The danger lies in looking for fulfillment within that.
You can also get trapped into relying on another person in an unhealthy way. If you crave other people's approval, if your reason to live is to make another person feel great or it is simply because another person exists and they are wonderful, you will end up hurting yourself and the other person. That kind of relationship usually ends up creating bitterness, anger, and codependency. Trust me, I know.
The truth of the matter is other people cannot give you what you're looking for anymore than you yourself can.
I hate to sound like the crazy Christian that's all like, "you need Jesus," but... you need Jesus. And I'm one to talk, 'cause my relationship with God is still learning how to walk. But I know what I'm trying to say is the truth. And I think if you dealt with all this for a bit of time, it would be hard to deny this: Nothing on this Earth can truly fulfill you.
Now, I didn't just pull this idea out of my butt; it's actually based on Scripture. And if you believe that Scripture has authority, it would be prudent to be mindful of these verses:
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.
This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."
Matthew 22: 37-39
According to this passage, the order of "love" priorities is God, others, then yourself. You can't love others or yourself properly without putting God first in your life. I've certainly found this to be true in my life.
I put myself first for so long. Years in fact, but I still considered myself to be a Christian. And the only thing that putting myself first did was breed more and more anxiety, until it totally crashed my world in.
Only when I was at my weakest could I meet God and begin to know Him better. And as I have done that, I have found more peace and strength than I ever have in my life, even though I am still working towards my best self.
I also found a lot of my satisfaction and identity in helping others. In my circles, I was always known as the kind and caring one. I made sure I was one of the first to volunteer (at least, before my anxiety started to take over big time).
But the problem was, when I didn't have anyone to help, I felt bored, lethargic, and depressed. So I served myself instead. And on and on the cycle goes.
Through so much trial and error, I have found that the only way worth living is to make Jesus Christ Lord of my life. But I know this isn't true for everyone. And I understand; I've been on both sides of this issue.
Let's start a conversation in the comments. If you don't believe this Scripture to be true, let me know why. I honest to goodness would like to know. And if you do, tell me why. Everyone has unique processing and reasoning, and I would like to hear it all.
Here's to open, respectful communication and getting to understand one another better.
k, bye.
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