Old Phone, New Phone, Black Phone, Pink Phone

The phone on the left is my old phone, the phone on the right is my new phone. I just got my new phone in December.

I'll give you a moment.

With the technological advances today, this dichotomy seems kind of unreal. For the most part, people got their first smart phones two or three years ago at the latest.

Bur I just got mine in December.

Now, I'm not going to talk about the usual cliche arguments concerning smart phones and "dumb" phones, like how smart phones have created a more disconnected society or how they cause us to waste so much of our time, and how I wish I could have my dumb phone back, because I don't want it back.

And I don't think having a smart phone has caused me to be more disconnected from my real relationships or that it has caused me to waste more time, because, to be honest, I was disconnected plenty and wasting tons of time with just my laptop.

I'm quite appreciative of my smart phone. It has allowed me to send diverse messages to friends and family, like pictures and web links. When I receive a group chat, it doesn't get all divided up, mismatched, and confusing.

And I can receive sent pictures now! You have no idea how many times I've gotten a video, GIF, or picture message, and my phone has told me, "couldn't play message." I never knew what was going on in those group chats.

Plus, now I can access this blog, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest, so I can connect with you guys more easily.

And this blog has been so helpful in decompressing my thoughts and allowing an outlet for my creativity. So, when I communicate in real life, it doesn't come out as a jumbled, unorganized mess.

I like connecting with other people who understand what I'm going through. It's hard to find those people in real life when you're at the point in working through your anxiety that it's still hard to get out and about.

I will admit, I was pretty addicted to my phone the first two or three weeks I had it. From the app store, I downloaded Best Fiends and Mario Run, which I would play for hours a day.

But when January hit, I asked myself, "What am I doing? This is so dumb," so I deleted them both. I find now that I push myself to just use my phone for my blog and communication.

Don't get me wrong, I do go through relapses. After I deleted those games, I became addicted to Instagram, mindlessly scrolling through pics and vids that have pretty much no redeeming value. I also became addicted to YouTube again, watching videos until 3am or 4am.

I think I have an addictive personality by nature, and it kinda sucks. When I turn 21, I'm definitely going to stay away from alcohol, yes siree!

The only way I'm able to combat these technological addictions is through relying on God and His strength. When I try to kick these tech addictions in my own strength (which happens way too often), sure I can fight it for a little while; but then I relapse again, and that's when I end up sat on my phone until 3am.

I know in my whole being that relying on God's strength is the only way to truly win this fight. Not only that, it says so in the Bible, which means it's definitely true.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

Also:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

These two verses tell me that no matter what it is, I can do it, as long as I rely on God to strengthen me. Also, if I keep myself in tune with God and what He wants for my life, He will lead me on the path that is most fulfilling. 

I'm working hard to make this truth a reality in my life, both in my tech addiction and my anxiety.

Let me know in the comments what you're struggling with so I can pray for you. Also, let me know if you believe this idea to be truth or not. I would love to know what you guys believe.

Anyways, until next time I see you in virtual reality,

k, bye.

Loving Myself

No, this isn't some perverted blog post about perverted stuff, you perverts (points to self occasionally). What this post is about is how self love can be dangerous, but how loving others can be as well.

There's a trend going around about self love that has been for some time. You know the one I'm talking about; it produced the t-shirts with the word "flawless" printed on them. Although I think it started out well, it has progressed into some murky territory.

The beginning of the trend was all about finding power in thinking yourself to be beautiful and strong, even if the opinion of others was less than pleasant (putting it mildly). That's all well and good, y' know, appreciating and lifting up your good qualities instead of tearing yourself down.

However, I think that can quickly turn into treating yourself like a god. A person can get so caught up in flipping off the world, saying your opinion doesn't matter, getting all self-righteous  and bitter, and not caring about what other people say at all no matter what.

And the problem is that if you make yourself the center of your world, you will never be fulfilled. You can never fulfill yourself, no matter how highly you think of yourself or how many nice things you get.

The same type of thinking can be applied to loving and serving others. Finding joy and thoroughly enjoying helping others over yourself is not inherently bad. The danger lies in looking for fulfillment within that.

You can also get trapped into relying on another person in an unhealthy way. If you crave other people's approval, if your reason to live is to make another person feel great or it is simply because another person exists and they are wonderful, you will end up hurting yourself and the other person. That kind of relationship usually ends up creating bitterness, anger, and codependency. Trust me, I know.

The truth of the matter is other people cannot give you what you're looking for anymore than you yourself can.

I hate to sound like the crazy Christian that's all like, "you need Jesus," but... you need Jesus. And I'm one to talk, 'cause my relationship with God is still learning how to walk. But I know what I'm trying to say is the truth. And I think if you dealt with all this for a bit of time, it would be hard to deny this: Nothing on this Earth can truly fulfill you.

Now, I didn't just pull this idea out of my butt; it's actually based on Scripture. And if you believe that Scripture has authority, it would be prudent to be mindful of these verses:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

This is the first and greatest commandment.

And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."

Matthew 22: 37-39

According to this passage, the order of "love" priorities is God, others, then yourself. You can't love others or yourself properly without putting God first in your life. I've certainly found this to be true in my life.

I put myself first for so long. Years in fact, but I still considered myself to be a Christian. And the only thing that putting myself first did was breed more and more anxiety, until it totally crashed my world in. 

Only when I was at my weakest could I meet God and begin to know Him better. And as I have done that, I have found more peace and strength than I ever have in my life, even though I am still working towards my best self.

I also found a lot of my satisfaction and identity in helping others. In my circles, I was always known as the kind and caring one. I made sure I was one of the first to volunteer (at least, before my anxiety started to take over big time). 

But the problem was, when I didn't have anyone to help, I felt bored, lethargic, and depressed. So I served myself instead. And on and on the cycle goes.

Through so much trial and error, I have found that the only way worth living is to make Jesus Christ Lord of my life. But I know this isn't true for everyone. And I understand; I've been on both sides of this issue. 

Let's start a conversation in the comments. If you don't believe this Scripture to be true, let me know why. I honest to goodness would like to know. And if you do, tell me why. Everyone has unique processing and reasoning, and I would like to hear it all.

Also, you can Tweet me (here) or have a conversation about it in my Instagram comments (here).

Here's to open, respectful communication and getting to understand one another better.

k, bye.

Project Pinterest: Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day for me is, like most holidays, just an excuse to decorate. I don't actually celebrate the holiday for its artificial American reasons or its actual historical reasons. AKA, I've never had a valentine, do not have a valentine, and will not have one for a very long time.

But, my singleness aside (which I am not bemoaning, by the way), I wanted to show you guys some very cute decorations I have made based on Pinterest pins and tutorials, so let's get into the crafts.


Paper Heart Chain

Here is the Pin I found: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/458522805787091483/

And here's how mine turned out:

I didn't follow the link in the pin to the tutorial, I just based my project off of the picture (which is what I do for most craft projects, to be honest). It turned out pretty well, but I do wish I had made the strips for each heart a little wider.

Anyways, for this craft, all you do is fold a piece of paper in half, hot dog style, then cut 1 1/2 to 2 inch wide strips along the fold. You can mix up the colors like I did, or stick with one or two colors. Then, to join the strips together as hearts, curve the two ends of the strip inward and staple, and do the same with the next ones, except have the strip interlocked with the previous heart.

On the bookshelf area, I also have pink and white bunting, and a valentine's Webkinz frog. Who remembers Webkinz, can I get an amen?!?

Crochet Heart

Here's the Tutorial I used: http://www.craftaholicsanonymous.net/how-to-crochet-a-heart

And this is how mine turned out:

For this one, I had to go through a couple mishaps before I got it. It was kind of a duh moment for me. Anyways, I basically followed the pattern verbatim; I just had to make a few tweaks while finishing it off, but nothing major. 

I just used leftover yarn from my yarn basket, and I didn't stick to just red and pink. I had a lot of blue yarn leftover from previous projects, so I used that as well. I'm glad I did, because the blues really compliment the red and pink.

I decided to hot glue twine loops to my hearts and hang them on my fake Christmas tree. I figured it's only January/February, no need to take the tree down quite yet. At the base of the tree, I covered it with red and white heart fabric to cover up the Christmas-ness on it. 

Heart Tree Branches

Here's the Pin I found: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/458522805787091419/ 

And this is how mine turned out:

My last Pinterest craft is branches with hearts glued on. Again, I didn't follow the link to the tutorial, but just based my craft on the picture. The branches are real dried out ones my mother had in her craft room, which I covered with glitter glue before adding the heart.

For the hearts, I used different colored paper (the same paper I used for the heart chain). All I did for the hearts was fold my paper hot dog style again, and cut out small half hearts, so that when they opened, they formed a whole heart. I know you guys know what I'm talking about. I'm sure you all made these paper hearts in grade school.

Once all my hearts were cute out and opened, I just hot glued them to my branches randomly. I put all my branches in an old fashioned milk jug to arrange them together, and placed in on my dresser, where I created kind of a Valentine's scene of sorts.

Breaking down the other items on my dresser, I have a small white and pink Christmas tree on which I placed one of my crochet hearts.

And to the right of my branches is a small chalkboard globe my mom made. At Christmas, it said "Joy to the World." I just switched out the message with part of a Bible verse (1 Corinthians 13:4).

And here's the whole Valentine's scene with the lights on. 

There are three easy-peezy Valentine's Day craft ideas for you guys. Although my versions turned out pretty close to the picture, I didn't expect them to. If I had, I probably wouldn't have made them.

So don't let your perfectionism keep you from making what you want to. Just get started!

If you do make any of these, I would love to see them. Tweet me (here) or tag me on Instagram (here) with pictures of your lovely, unique creations.

k, bye.

#OOTD: How to Style Mom Jeans

Mom jeans; it seems everyone has them these days, when only, like, three or four years ago they were a fashion travesty.

And as much as I like to consider myself a fashion hipster and total individual, I am also quite influenced by trends. If these jeans were not in style, I would certainly not be wearing them in public.

But I've come to appreciate them as the trend has gained steam. Mom jeans are high-waisted, so they hide my belly, and the loose bottoms present all kinds of styling opportunities. Plus, pretty much any kind of top goes with them, so there are endless outfit possibilities.

And, for the record, these aren't some store bought mom jeans. No, no, no, these are authentic. These are my mom's actual jeans from back in the day. You won't be finding any in-authenticity around here, I guarantee it.

I have three styling options for your mom jeans that I have discovered through experimentation. I hope they inspire you to be a little more bold when styling your mom jeans.

So, without further ado, let's get into it!

The Turtleneck 

For all three outfits, I decided to roll my mom jeans up in a haphazard fashion at the bottom, and I wore a black belt to top them off. In this particular outfit, I styled my mom jeans with a grey knit turtle neck and an Aztec knit blanket scarf. And on the bottom, I am wearing black sued ankle boots. 

-Turtleneck: Old Navy (from ages ago)

-Scarf: Rue 21 (clearance)

-Boots: Local Discount Retailer

Sargent Pepper

For this outfit, I paired my jeans and same sued boots with an Asian inspired top, which has a collar and brocade clasps down the front. I actually found this top in my mother's closet, and I had to cut the shoulder pads out first before wearing it (I know, right?).

-Top: Hand-Me Down

Classic in Black

And lastly, I paired my mom jeans with a black t-shirt tucked in, a black pinstripe jacket, and black loafer heals. This jacket was another find in my mother's closet, of which I also had to cut the shoulder pads out.

-T-Shirt: Hand-Me Down (Originally ModCloth)

-Jacket: Hand-Me Down

-Shoes: Bass Shoes (from ages ago)

That's all folks! Three ways to style your mom jeans. If you guys recreate any of these outfits, in your own unique way of course, I would love to see. Tweet me (here) or tag me on Instagram (here) with your lovely creations.

Until tomorrow...

k, bye.

Dream Wall

This is my dream wall. I decided to start this a few weeks ago when I needed some motivation. I had all these dreams floating around in my head, and I wanted to write them down so that they would be more real and concrete,  giving me a better chance at completing them. 

But, I realized that writing them in a journal would do me no good. A journal is something you can close and put away; you don't have to look at it every day, every morning when you wake. So I decided to put my dreams on the wall, so that I would have a constant visual reminder that there is so much in this life left to accomplish, and I am no where near done living.

Eventually, I want to start adding God's dreams and wants for my life, as I become more in tune with Him, and learn to listen to Him better. I definitely don't want my life to be all about chasing my own dreams and desires. Chasing after just what I think will make me happy will only lead to emptiness. But, yearning after God's desires for my life will bring me immeasurable joy. And, besides, God's plans are always way more daring and wild than I could ever imagine for myself.

I like having the verse about His mercies being new every morning in the center of my dreams. It's a reminder and encouragement that when I have unproductive, sinful, depression-filled days, that I shouldn't give up, but wait for the mercy of a new day.

I want to encourage you guys to write out your own dreams, instead of keeping them tucked away in the corner of your mind. And don't just write them in a journal, where your dreams can be put away and forgotten about. Put them in an obvious place where you'll see them everyday, as a reminder that life is always worth living and that you're not done yet. Also, don't forget to add God's dreams for your life, too. Trust me, they're gonna be more fantastical than whatever you or I can come up with.

If you decide to create a dream wall, tweet me (here) or tag me on Instagram (here). I would absolutely love to see your creations. And comment down below your all time dream, and we'll all encourage you.

k, bye.

I'm an Email Hoarder

Yup, you're reading that number right. I have 3,230 emails total, and 1,208 unread emails. I still have emails from 2013. Yup, 2013.

Hi, my name is Fly a Kite, and I am an email hoarder.

The funny thing is, I'm not a hoarder in real life. Everything I own can fit in my bedroom, and, trust me, it's very small. 

I have such an aversion to hoarding tangible things because my parents hold onto so much, and that has been such a bone of contention in my family for years. I am actually almost obsessive with getting rid of stuff. 

I love to clean out my closet and donate my clothes to charity, as well as cleaning my room and finding lots of useless papers and objects. I have no problem getting rid of those.

But, I have 3,230 emails.

I justify it by saying to myself:

"I might need that information later"

"Oh, I'll look at it tomorrow"

"I probably don't need it, but I'll wait and delete it tomorrow"

It doesn't really feel like hoarding because the emails don't take up any physical space, but digital space. However, it's still a trick of my mind, convincing me to keep something I don't need "just-in-case" I'll need it later.

So, to fight this strange and unhealthy habit, I'm going to spend some time this weekend cleaning out my inbox, getting rid of the old to make room for the new. You can join me too, if you like. 

In fact, if you are joining me in combating digital hoarding, tweet me (here) or tag me on Instagram (here) and show me your before and after inboxes. I'll do the same as well.

And, since we're all making room for the new, I have a great email subscription suggestion: me!

If you like what I write and want to keep reading what I have to say, you can subscribe to my email list by imputing your email address in the subscription bar on the side at the top and hitting enter. Thank you in advance! 

And if this felt like a self promo, it kind of was. I mean, I genuinely have a lot of unnecessary emails in my inbox that I plan to get rid of, and my family really does have a hoarding problem. But, still, I'd like to keep interacting with you guys on the regular, and email seems to be the best way. 

So feel free to subscribe or not, no matter. If you do subscribe, I'll see you in your inbox tomorrow with another new post.

k, bye.

Desk Tour & Organization

Ah, organization tips and tricks. You know you love 'em. You probably have 20 or 30 pins about desk organization on Pinterest, half of them pinned on New Years Day, because you told yourself, "This is the year that I'm going to get organized and have my life put together!".

Well, my desk isn't the quintessential Pinterest desk; in fact, it's far from it. I have quirky little containers and little odds and ends that I found around the house, and both my desk and drawers alongside are hand me downs, instead of sleek and slim Ikea models.

But I like my desk, a lot. And the system I use works well for me. So, I hope that this desk tour gives you some practical inspiration and encouragement to just use what you have and make it work. You never know what beauty you can create with mismatched finds.

Anyways, let's get into it!

Here is my full desk area. My desk is two toned, white on top and turquoise on bottom, with a drawer at the front. 

On top, I have an antique tray that holds the supplies that I use regularly, and underneath I store a few things. 

To the right of my desk, I have a nightstand that I painted and put new drawer pulls on, in which I store other supplies that I do not use as often. 

Above my desk is my pin board, and below is a trashcan and some to-be-completed projects. 

Whew! Let's break this all down now, shall we?

First, let's delve into the organization on top of my desk. The tray that holds my pencils, pens, and what-not is an antique given to me by a friend. 

Underneath, I have some storage containers I found around the house, except the middle one, which I purchased at Target on clearance. 

And to the right of that is some more small storage I found around my house.

Here's a closer look at my tray organization. On top, I also keep some notebooks and folders I reach for often.

Here's what I store under my antique tray.

On the left is a Mary Engelbreit box, in which I store paper clips.

My Target box holds my makeup and my mirror. I like to do my make up at my desk, because I can sit down, and also because the natural light helps me gauge how blended my makeup is. 

And lastly, on the right, is my camera and a little tin I found at home in which I store my camera charger and extra battery.

On top of my tray, I store my pencils and pens in cute mugs that I was gifted, but I don't really need for drinking. And the one on the right houses my wooden colored pencils, which I don't use that often because they are messy, but they are too cute to put away.

In front of the mugs are your average office supplies: stapler, tape, and pencil sharpener.

To the right of my tray are some more hidden treasures containers I found around my house.

The left hand container holds my post-it notes and the one on the right holds my erasers.

And here is my pin board. I recently de-cluttered it so that it would have a nice and clean minimalistic look. 

In the center is my blogging calendar, and above that is a cute verse sign. 

To the right of my calendar is a cute little laugh sign, and over it all is some bunting.

Now, onto the drawers. On top of my drawers, I keep some Purel, a notepad, and tissues. It makes my desk area feel like a real office.

In the top drawer, I store extra pens and pencils, as well as my colored pencils and crayons. I keep my gum in here as well.

In the second drawer I keep my extra, random supplies, such as glue, pins, and calculators, as well as staples, tape, and scissors. And don't worry, I do have grown up scissors; I just can't find them today.

In the third drawer, I keep extra paper supplies, like notepads, index cards, and greeting cards.

And my last drawer is a junk drawer, for all the objects that I have no idea where else to place. Every good desk area should have one.

And there you have it! That's the finished tour of my desk and how I organize my supplies. 

I hope it gave you some inspiration for your desk, and some hope for it too. You can create a great desk area with whatever you have. All you have to do is start!

k, bye.